How to Live a Balanced Life

Posted on December 6, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

If you want to live a happy, successful and fulfilling life, you need to learn how to “balance” different areas of your life.  I’ve met plenty of people who had successful careers, but never spent time with their spouse or kids.  And I’ve met other people with great careers, who also had a great family life, time for hobbies, and a strong spiritual life.  What separates these two groups of people is balance.

I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy working.  I’ve found that when you love what you do, you don’t feel like you are working at all.  It’s more of a labor of love.  However, even if you love what you do, it’s important to keep things in perspective, and not be so consumed by work that you neglect other areas of your life.

This means you need to make time for your spouse, kids, friends, spiritual life, hobbies, exercise and more.  Sometimes this is difficult to do.  Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way.  Listed below, I want to share three useful tips for keeping your life in balance.  Let’s get started.

  1. Set Your Priorities: Your first objective is to set your priorities.  In other words, what is most important to you?  Is it family, kids, hobbies, religion, or friends?  Make of list of what is important to you and then rank these categories in order of importance.
  2. Schedule Your Time: Your next objective is to schedule your time each month.  Personally, I think it’s really important to have a day planner and block off your time.  At the beginning of each month, schedule time for your hobbies, for your spouse, for your kids, religious time, work time, exercise time, etc.  Once you do that, you will have a game-plan each month.
  3. Evaluate Your Progress Each Month: Your last step is to evaluate your progress.  On the last day of each month, evaluate the month.  How did you do with each priority?  Did you spend enough time with your kids, wife, job and hobbies?  Or, was your life out of balance?  If it was out of balance, what are you going to do to fix it this month?

You should follow these three simple steps every single month.  If you ever “drift” from your priorities, you can reel yourself back in the following month.  I’ve found that these three little steps can make a big difference with balancing your life.   What are your thoughts?

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My Views on Money

Posted on November 29, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

People get jobs, so they can live a certain lifestyle.  They spend their money to buy their own home, buy a car, have a yearly vacation, purchase food and clothing, and other things.  Unfortunately, most people overextend themselves financially and spend more money that they make, regardless of their income level.  As a result, they end up heavily in debt with a mortgage, car payment, credit card bills, personal loans and more.

Because they overextend themselves financially, they have to keep working in their job forever, even if they hate what they do.  It seems like a never ending cycle.  And when people get promoted at work, or get a pay raise, they continue to spend.  As a result, they are trapped.  They have to keep working to maintain their lifestyle.  They are stuck in the rat race forever.

Isn’t it funny how when you are young, you get a job so you can by stuff?  But when you get older, you stay in a job you hate because you purchased a bunch of stuff you thought you wanted.  And now you have to keep
working, so you can continue to make the payments.

For most of my adult life, I fell into the same trap.  I was worried about status, looking good, and owning lots of things.  However, as I mature and get older, I have a different view of money now.  My goal now is to live below my means, stay out of debt, and live a simple, but enjoyable life.  I’ve found that I really don’t “need” all those fancy things.  To me, my time is the most valuable thing.

And because I don’t need all those fancy things, I don’t feel obligated to spend my money on the latest gadgets or the fastest car. Please don’t get me wrong here.  I don’t think these things are bad.  There’s nothing wrong with buying stuff.  But, if your spending habits have forced you into a never ending cycle of (1) needing a job
forever, or (2) having to do work that you hate, I highly recommend you evaluate your current spending habits.  Personally, I’m willing to reduce my lifestyle a little bit, so I can have extra time to do what I want.

To me, time is my greatest asset.  The only things I can take with me when I die are my memories.  And the only way to build memories is to have time.  Although you do need money to live, I think it’s very wise to evaluate how you spend your money.  I think it’s best to focus on simple living, so you can spend time with people you love, build new memories, try new experiences, and live a fulfilling life.  What are your thoughts?

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My Thoughts on Getting Old and Dying

Posted on November 28, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

It amazes me how many people worry about getting old.  For some strange reason, people fear old age
and death.  They fear getting wrinkles on their face, decreased mobility, loss of attractiveness, and countless other things.  I learned a long time ago that old age and death are inevitable.  Eventually, all of us will get old and die.  So rather than worry about it, why not accept it?  Why not look at is as another chapter in your life?

Look at your “living life” as one small part of your “entire life.”  Does that make sense?  Think of death as a long peaceful sleep.  And remember, you will be dead a lot longer than you will ever have been alive.  Another helpful thing to do is to live each day to its fullest.  Try new foods.  Meet new people.  Travel to new places. Build memories.   And by all means, do something that you are passionate about.  Simply put, don’t live a life of regrets.  I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail, than attempt to do nothing and succeed.

Although I’m not a very “religious” guy, I think it’s much easier to have “peace of mind” if you believe in a higher power or some type of “heaven.”  Whenever I think of my loved ones who have already died, I look up into the sky and know they are watching over me.  And I know that one day I will join them.  That gives me peace of mind.

I once participated in an exercise where you had to write your own eulogy.  It was a very powerful exercise, because it let me design my own life and think about what I really wanted to accomplish and be known for.
If you’ve never done this before, take out a piece of paper and write your own eulogy.  What do you want to be
known for?  What do you want to accomplish?  What is important to you?  After you finish the exercise, evaluate your current situation.  If needed, make changes in your life.   Start living a life of purpose.

In conclusion, we will all get old and die one day.  It’s inevitable.  So rather than worry about death, why not
just accept it as a fact and start living a life of purpose?  Why not become the person you want to be and
do what you really want to do?  It’s never too late to recreate your life and become the person you were designed to be.  What do you think?

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What I am Most Thankful For

Posted on November 21, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

This year will be my 34th Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for what you are most thankful for.  Looking back over the years, I’ve lived a great life and have hundreds of things to be grateful for.  I spent the last few minutes creating my top five list.  Here are my top five things I am thankful for:

  1. My Wife: Without my wife, I don’t know where I would be today.  She is so supportive and puts up with me, while I pursue my entrepreneurial spirit.  Most women probably wouldn’t do this for their husband, and I know that.  I am very lucky to have Rachel as my wife.  Rachel is loving, supportive, and beautiful.  I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her.
  2. My Son: It’s hard to believe my son Devant is nine years old.  He’s grown up so fast.  It amazes me how much he learns, grows and develops.  He’s becoming  a young man right before my eyes.  I enjoy every day I have with him, and am very proud that he is my son.
  3. My Parents: Lots of people come from broken homes.  I’m very fortunate to have two loving parents who always provided a real good example for me.  My dad taught me to work hard, be strong, and
    follow your passion.  My mom taught me love and forgiveness.  Other than my wife, my parents are my best friends.    I couldn’t ask for a better set of parents.
  4. My Health: I’m not in perfect shape, but I am fit and healthy.  And I thank the man upstairs everyday for giving me the health to live a normal life.  I see so many other people who have health
    impairments and challenges, and I feel very blessed.
  5. My Freedom: Having traveled to more than 30 countries, I am very thankful for my freedom.  Most Americans simply have no clue as to how good we have it.  In America, you can be broke, but still own a home, have two cars in your paved driveway, and have Direct-TV.  Yet, we are always the biggest complainers.  Most of the world lives on less than a $1 a day, and we complain about everything we don’t have, rather than appreciating what we do have.  I am very happy to live in a free nation where I can choose who I want to marry, what I want to do with my life, and express my thoughts and views to the world.

There are many other things I am thankful for, but these are my top five.  What are you most thankful
for?  Just leave a comment to this post to share your thoughts.

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My Top 10 Christmas Movies

Posted on November 19, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

I love this time of year.  People get the “holiday spirit.”  Even better, there are so many great Christmas movies on television.  It’s fun to cuddle up on the coach with some eggnog and a blanket and watch a great Christmas movie.

Through the years, I’ve watched my share of Christmas movies.  Today, I decided to compile my own top ten list to share with you.  Some of these movies are inspirational, others are funny, and some are just classic.  Here is my list:

10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas: I love the Grinch.  This movie came out in 2000 and is an all-time classic of how a sour-puss gets caught up in the Christmas spirit.  It’s funny and inspirational.

9. Planes, Trains and Automobiles: I am a big fan of John Candy. Combine him with Steve Martin and you have an all-time classic.

8. Bad Santa: This is one of the grown-up Christmas movies.  It makes me laugh like there is no tomorrow.

7. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: If you’ve never watched Chevy Chase’s performance as Clark Griswold, you are missing out.  If something can go wrong at Christmas, it happens to Clark Griswold.

6. Gremlins:  This movie has been around nearly 30 years, but I still love it.  These crazy little Gremlins are funny and scary.  You’ll laugh, and might even jump from your seat a couple times.

5. Die Hard: You can’t leave the legendary John McClane off the list.  Explosions, violence, and unforgettable
action scenes, all during a company’s Christmas Party.  Yippee ki yeah!

4. Home Alone:  I saw this movie as a kid when it came out in 1990, and it still makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.  It’s about a kid who get’s left home at Christmas, to fend for himself.  And he has to fight off some robbers.

3. It’s a Wonderful Life: This is an all-time inspirational classic that was made in 1946.  It’s a classic story of a man named George Bailey, trying to do the right thing and figure out the meaning of life.

2. Elf: In this movie Buddy the Elf makes his way from the North Pole to New York City to find his real dad.  Will Ferrell gives an all-time classic performance.  This is a very close second place.

1. The Christmas Story: I have to give Ralphie the # 1 spot.  I love the leg lamp, the BB gun scene, licking the frozen pole, and everything else about this movie.  Some channels play this movie 24-hours straight on Christmas.

Once again, these are just my personal top ten favorite Christmas movies.  What movie did I miss?  What’s your favorite holiday movie?  Just leave a comment to share your thoughts.

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How to Live a Good Life

Posted on November 16, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

Do you know the average person in America lives to be 78.1 years old?  If you do the math, that equates to about 28,526 days.  That might sound like a lot, but if you subtract the number of days you’ve already lived,
you might be surprised at how much time you have left.

The moral of the story is that you only live once.  You only get one shot at life. And it truly saddens me how few people truly live their life with passion and purpose.   After all, are you doing what you want to be
doing, or are you settling for your lot in life?  If you are like most people, you’re comfortable, but don’t love what you do.  And I think that’s a big mistake!

Playing it safe will not bring lasting happiness.  Neither will money.  If you simply “chase money” that won’t bring much fulfillment, either.  Instead, happiness comes from within by doing something that develops your potential, challenges you, and satisfies your soul.

I think it’s important to live life to the fullest, to travel to new places, to taste different foods, to meet new friends, to love, to laugh, and to enjoy life.  And since you will work nearly ¼ of the hours in your entire life, why not do something you love?  Why not do something that excites you?  Why not wake up each day and be excited to go to work?

Why not do something that sets your world on fire?  Why not do something that gives you fulfillment?  I’m not a guru or shrink, but I do know that most people don’t live a life of passion or purpose.  They don’t take chances or risks.  They don’t pursue their God-give strengths or passions. That’s right; most people simply play it safe.  After all, the enemy of excellent is “good enough.”

I hope that from this day forward, you will make a conscious effort to live a life of passion and purpose.
If you don’t know where to begin, I recommend you watch the Will Smith video at the top of this page.  He
explains it better than I can.  If you have any comments, please share your thoughts.

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Happy Wife, Happy Home

Posted on November 10, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

“If mama’s happy, then everyone is happy.”  If you are married, or have a significant other, you know what I am talking about.   Women definitely control the “temperature” of the household.  And if mama ain’t happy, you won’t be happy either.  Therefore, I think all men have a responsibility to do what they can to keep their lady happy.

In the paragraphs below, I’d like to share four simple things you can do to keep mama happy.

  1. Clean Up After Yourself:  Most mamas are the ones who keep the house clean.  I’m not saying this is their job; it just normally works out that way.  Do yourself a favor and help your spouse out by picking up after yourself.  If your wife is a neat freak, do your best to try and be a neat freak, too.  It will keep her happy.  At a minimum, pick up after yourself.  Don’t be a slob.
  2. Listen to Mama: When men come home from work, they want peace and quiet.  When women come home from work, they want to talk about their day.  As a guy, you need to make sure that you “listen” to mama every day.  Ask her a few questions, and listen.  I know that might be hard to do, but I’ve found that mama normally likes that.  When you are listening, make sure the television is off, and eliminate all other distractions.  Give her your undivided attention.
  3. Cook Dinner Once in a While:  Give your wife a break by cooking dinner once in a while.  She’s not your personal servant or cook.  Make it a point to cook a meal yourself.  If you don’t know how to cook, take lessons.  And if you can’t do that, at least take mama out to eat once a week.
  4. Give Mama a Break: If your spouse stays at home with the kids all day, give her a break when you come home.  I know you are tired when you come home, but so is she.  Help her out by watching the
    kids for an hour or two so she can unwind and relax.  And if you both have full-time jobs, encourage your wife to have a “personal” night once a week, so she can spend time with friends or do something she enjoys.

I’ve found that doing these four little things can help pay huge dividends in your relationship.  I have so much respect for women, especially moms who have a full-time job AND maintain the house and take care of the
kids.  I really don’t know how these “super moms” do it.  And stay at home moms have a huge responsibility, too.  In fact, most men couldn’t handle it.  Most men couldn’t do what women do every day.

Remember, anyone can have a fulfilling relationship, especially if they learn how to keep mama happy.  Your key to success is to make a focused effort to do the little things.  Make mama feel appreciated, cherished and loved, and your household will be a happy one!

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How to Discover Your Life’s Purpose

Posted on November 6, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

Many people wander through life, never truly figuring out what their purpose is. I guess I’ve fortunate in that I’ve pretty much always known my purpose.  My life’s purpose is to live an adventure, to continue to grow and
learn each day, and to help other people reach their potential.  Now, I’m not saying this to brag.  Instead, I’m just trying to give you an example of what a life’s purpose could be.

One of the reasons that I enjoy life so much is because I know what I want to accomplish!  Even though I haven’t arrived yet, I move one step closer to my goals each day.  And that makes me happy.  I can wake up each day knowing I am one step closer to where I want to be.  Simply put, I am living with a purpose.  That
brings joy and inner peace.

I think the saddest thing is to live for 70 or 80 years, but never find your purpose.  Even worse is to know your purpose, but never pursue it.  After all, we only get one shot at life.  Why not do something that fulfills you?  If you’re like most people, you say you can’t pursue your purpose because you have a mortgage, kids, a spouse, a pile of bills, and countless other things.  But, that’s really just an excuse that you are scared to change.

I learned a long time ago that if someone really wants to do something, they find a way to get it done.  I hope that you will spend some time to “discover” your purpose and then create an action plan on what you need to do to pursue and fulfill your purpose.

In the paragraphs below, I want to share a few helpful tips to help you discover your purpose.  You can ask yourself these questions and write down the answers.

1. What Did You Want to Do When You Were a Child?

This is the best place to start.  Kids are free thinkers who speak their mind.   Ask yourself what you wanted to be when you were a kid.  And then ask yourself “why” you wanted to do that.

2. What Do You Do In Your Free Time that Brings the Most Happiness?

Most people are bored or unhappy with their jobs.  But when they get home from work, they are a new person.  What do you do when you aren’t working at your job that brings the most happiness?

3. At What Point in Your Life Were You the Happiest?  Why?

If you’re 30, 40, or 50 years old, you have some life experience under your belt.  Spend some time reflecting about the happiest times in your life.  Why were you happy?

4. If You Could Do Anything in Life and Earn the Same Amount of Money, What Would You Do?

If money didn’t matter, what would you do with your time?  This is an easy way to discover your purpose.

5. What are You best at?

What are your greatest strengths?  What things are you really good at?  I think if you spend some time to “think through” these answers, you will be well on your way to discovering your purpose.

Remember, you only live once.  So why not life a life with meaning and purpose?

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My Secret Success Formula

Posted on November 2, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

If I had to share a secret formula on how to get what you want in life, it would be this:

Desire + Written Goals + Game Plan + Mentor + Action + Persistence = Success

It doesn’t matter what you want to accomplish, you can follow this formula to get what you want.
I’ll break down the steps in more detail below.

  1. Desire: Desire is the root for all success.  You have to really “want” something before you will accomplish it.  Without a burning desire, you will not have goals.
  2. Written Goals: Once you have the desire, you must establish a specific written goal.  If you don’t commit your goal to paper and give it a deadline, it is nothing more than a fantasy.  Your goal must be very specific.  Here is an example.  “I will earn one million dollars per year by 40th birthday.  My income will come from my business.”
  3. Game-Plan: Now that you have written goals, you can move to the next step to develop your game-plan.  Your game-plan is simply a list of action steps you must take to reach your goal.  It’s the process of breaking your goal down into bite-sized manageable chunks.  Your game-plan must be written down.  It includes your to do list, weekly tasks, monthly goals, short-term goals and mid-term goals.
  4. Mentor: A mentor is someone who has accomplished what you are trying to accomplish.  They
    can share their wisdom and help you succeed.  You can learn from them so you don’t make the same mistakes they did.  Best of all, they can hold you accountable when you get off course.
  5. Action: Now that you have everything in place, you must take action.  This is where most people kid themselves.  They never take action.  They never do the work.  They don’t take consistent action.  You must focus on daily tasks that move you one step closer to your goal.
  6. Persistence: The last step in my formula for success is persistence.  Let’s be honest; obstacles will arise.  You will face hardships and shortcomings.  You will get disappointed and let down.  But you have to pay your dues and remain persistent.  Nothing worth accomplishing is easy.  You have to keep on keeping on until you reach your goals.

By following the steps outlined in this post, you can achieve success.  I define success as “getting what you want in life.  Happiness is enjoying what you get.”  If you aren’t where you want to be in life, I highly recommend you set some new goals and follow the steps mentioned above.  I hope that helps.

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The Importance of Mentors

Posted on October 31, 2011 by ChuckHolmes

It amazes me how many people don’t have a mentor.  Whether you own a business, or are trying to
move up in your corporate career, I think it’s very important to have a mentor.  A mentor is a personal success coach.  More importantly, a good mentor has already accomplished what you want
to accomplish.  Therefore, they are qualified to give you advice.  And a good mentor will share their thoughts and opinions with you.

Sometimes, this is your boss.  Usually, it’s someone outside of your organization, or outside of your “chain of command.”  That way there isn’t a conflict of interest.

How do you find a mentor?   The best way is to ask someone to be your mentor.  If you know someone that you admire and respect, ask them if you can sit down with them periodically to review your goals, progress and learn new ideas.  Share your questions and concerns with them.  I’ve found that most successful people will gladly share their insights to help others succeed.

If you don’t know anyone that is qualified to be your mentor, you can find mentors through books.  That’s what I do.  I’m constantly devouring books, looking for a way to learn new things and improve.  I study lots of successful entrepreneurs, read biographies, and watch interviews on YouTube.  I try to do this at least 30 minutes each day.

Having a mentor will pay huge dividends.  You get to learn from other people’s mistakes, so you don’t make the same mistakes.  And you learn new ideas.  Your key to success is to make a list of questions for your “sit down” session with your mentor.  Once you ask your questions, shut up and listen.  Take notes.  Clarify things you don’t understand.

Over a period of time, you will be amazed at your progress.  Having a mentor will improve your marketability and make you more valuable to your employer or company.  Speaking from personal experience, my mentors
have completely transformed my life.

If the best athletes, CEOs, entrepreneurs and corporate employees all have personal mentors/coaches, shouldn’t you?  What are your thoughts?

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